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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Voices in My Head

In a matter of an hour or so, or perhaps a day, a bazillion thoughts run through my head.

1.  What should we have for dinner?
2.  I need to be outside more in the sun.
3.  Where am I going?

4.  Can I keep doing what I'm doing forever?

 5. Will I be alone for the rest of my life?
6. I really need to get my deck painted this year.
7. I should really purge my studio, my closet, my dresser drawers. 
8. What if I never have another idea, ever. Like EVER.
9. I love the Imagine Dragons. I would love to see them in concert soon.
10.  Where should we go on vacation this year?  Can I even afford to go on vacation?
11.  I really need to finish my taxes. Stop procrastinating.
12.  I need to go on a diet.
13.  I am in love with printing techniques. I could do that for days. I may do more printing today.
14. No, I can't do that today because I need to finish my little things for my show in March. 
15. EEEK my show inventory needs to be done this weekend!!!! I have to hang 20 or so pieces!! When am I going to do that?
16. How am I going to travel to places I need to go to work and who is going to watch my son and  our dog?  
17.  Working on my class for a collaborative project...I'm scared students won't resonate with it.  Therefore I've procrastinated working on it. I need to finish regardless. 
18. I need a day off but if I take a full day off I won't make any money to keep things going. When I take a day off I want it to be more than just a total collapse, need to sleep all day to recharge day.
19. What color paint should I use today for my project?  Maybe I should go on Pinterest and look for inspiration.
20. No get off Pinterest, it's time to work.
21.  What's next? There's something big out there next, but what is it? How will I know?
22. I miss my Mom. I need to see her.
23.  Gosh my legs are white.  I need to go tanning. Or get some sun. Or just get out of the house.
24. Josh is getting so big. Where did time go?
25. Am I on the right path?  It's time to get into the studio.  There aren't any answers.  Just paint.  You'll find your way.  
26.  And so did we decide what's for dinner?


My mind wanders obviously.  
 All I know is that the only thing that gets done, is what gets done. One step at a time.  I know where I may want to go in the future but the direction isn't clear.  How about you? Do you have doubts about yourself? Your abilities? Your endurance?  How do you overcome the voices in your head? 
I do know that I feel more confidant once I get going..get going on anything.  So that's what I'm going to do, right here, right now. Turn off the voices and get to work.

See ya around dinner time with a full offering of goodies because I know if I take time to add each ingredient into the recipe today, I'll have at least something to show for my efforts. And it may even be good...but if it's not, I'll learn from that, too and try again tomorrow.


Margaret Applin said...

Wow!!! What a conversation!!! Somehow you are making life work and art work and we love you for that!!

Beth Cole said...

It's amazing all the directions our minds can wander in a short time! I can relate for sure. I love your art and teaching style, Jodi, thanks for sharing.

Maureen Hayes said...

Oh we are SO soul sisters Jodi cause my mind works exactly the same way. . . Lol! Thanks for sharing.

Miss ya,