LIVE LOVE CREATE : Graffiti Chic Painting

New directions, new discoveries, testing my boundaries, understanding my limits, even a bit of emotions drawn upon this weekend. We are snowed in here in NC, believe it or not! Yes, even I, the native New Yorker, will admit defeat when it comes to being able to surface out of her humble abode and actually get her car up the steep little incline of a driveway. It just wasn't going to happen so I stayed indoors.....no apple bottom jeans for this girl, no more like flannel bottom jammies and slippers with some fake fur. Look at her..lol I was and am a sight to be seen!

For real...I mean, look at this painting--can you say holly paint wars? I got up early this morning because I was determined to complete one more painting before the month was over. I TOTALLY missed my mark on the number of pieces I wanted to create this month. I disappointed myself---anyway, this was my way of redeeming myself as much as I could at the 11th hour. My day job required a lot of attention this month, with late nights and many long days, my art was not as high on the priority list as I would have liked. I did finish several mini hearts, 4 other originals, completed a journaling class and opened up an online journaling class--but still, I felt I could have done more so it does make me want to kick myself in my tail for being lazy. Or have I just felt the effects of the winter blahs?

I'm still reeling over the events of last month...and others that keep rearing their ugly head this month-call it relationship spill over that has kinda spent my energy worrying over it all. Actually worry isn't the right worried--emotional drain is a better way of explaining how I have felt. I sometimes wonder if I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. It probably would make sense if I were to be....I really have been independent all of my life and now that I'm all up in my creative muses arse, I don't even know if I have time for anyone else. How lonely would that be after awhile though??? Heck now that I think about it, I've been myself for the last 6 years even when I was with him. If that makes sense. It makes sense to me. It was a one way road most of the time. I wish there was someone else traveling in the same direction I'm traveling, all I know is that they aren't coming over and inviting themselves in while I paint..LOL I need to get out!


As you see, I had lots of time to think today. ....that's really all I did besides paint. Think and paint, paint and think. Stop for some coffee....a snuggle from lil man, a bite of chocolate chip cookies, then back to thinking and painting. Mid afternoon today I was hit with something that really, really bothered me. Almost to the point I was in tears. It was art related so no worries on the man front he's not bothering me that bad....anyway, so yes, where was I? Oh ya...I had something happen that just kinda bothered me to the point, I almost quit something. I never quit. Never give up....that's very unlike me. Reflecting back, it really amazes me that I can go from extremely high one minute, to down and dirty low the next.

The worst part was I was guiding my feelings based on perception of what I thought was going on....and the fact that I was willing to give up something I really really wanted to do...wanted to do so much that I was on cloud nine all week thinking about doing it...but here I was this afternoon ready to say screw it....(excuse my language), it's not worth my effort. Perceptions can be very very vile. They play with emotions, they fester and boil over. Perceptions are not always reality (they can be, but not always), and they can be dangerous to our emotional state if we let them become our reality.

And then..after all my emotional drama this afternoon I got a sign. A sign about the very topic I was so very passionate about and ready to give up because of something I perceived to be true....it couldn't have been more relevant or more timely to give me the answer of not quitting, not letting go of something I loved no matter what. In the end, I'm doing this for me...not for anyone else, it's not a race, there's not any one winner in this world....we all have a place to finish and the pace that it takes us to get to that checkered flag is only determined by our own actions.

So there it is....a little obscure I know...but to me it makes sense. The moral of the story is, do what you do because YOU love to do it. Not for any other reason than it is a part of you, and you want to do it well. I want to
LIVE fully a life I was meant to live

embrace Love and be open to it when I'm ready again

Create all that I can that speaks inside of me.
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((Hope you enjoyed my montage of my new graffiti chic painting, "LIVE LOVE CREATE". I'm working on samples for an upcoming show in April and class I'm offering in May))

Speaking of classes--I'm offering a NEW online work shop over at Creative Workshops.
"Artistic Journaling.....Your Way"

Stop over and see all the details!

Class begins February 28th. Registration is open NOW!

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Live Artfully!