Better Than I Was The Day Before

 There was a time when I wouldn't dare paint anything larger than 6x6 or maybe 8x10 at the most. Anything larger, forget it. I was paralyzed by fear, perhaps fear of imperfection or not even imperfection...just total inability to generate anything at all and therefore, failing.

And then slowly I dabbled in a few larger paintings.  With each stroke, I found it freeing to have ROOM to experiment and grow.

It's kinda like moving out of your parents house for the first time without having much money to buy rental or share the space with others. Don't get me wrong,  you are super happy to be there but at the same time, it's constricting.

Painting small can be wonderful and joyful, not always constricting....but...stay with me....

Painting larger can be freeing and help lead you down a  wonderful winding path to growth.

 I know, I know...some may argue that having so much blank space may have just the opposite effect on one's self.  That huge space can be paralyzing too.

Kinda like a big house.  Where should the couch go? Which room should be the guest room? What color scheme should we pick?   Should we keep the carpet or refinish the old floors?

There are more choices and more decisions to make no doubt.

But, when you embrace them rather than run from them...well, every once in awhile you create a beautiful home, one room at a time.

 My goal for 2014 is to work on at least 2 big paintings each month. 

ehhhh ummmm COMPLETE at least 2 big paintings a month. I have to keep myself in check otherwise I will find my own loopholes.

I exceeded that goal. I finished 3 large paintings and several smaller ones in January.

Some of them go in different directions that I want to expand on for the next year or so..maybe longer.

 Others are cousins and siblings to paintings I've done in the past.

Each one, digs a little deeper and that's my ultimate goal:

To simply be better than I was the day before through continuous practice and stretching my wings.

It's not always easy.

 I spend plenty of time staring at the canvas, not knowing what to do next. What color to use, what to paint, what brush to choose....

Plenty of time allowing distractions to fuel my tendencies to procrastinate.

Plenty of time 'gathering inspiration' rather than just getting to work.

 But when push comes to shove, I push myself to overcome any fear I have created from within, overcome any doubts and simply enjoy whatever materializes onto the canvas.

I hope you find a way to overcome your own fears, whatever they may be-big or small, so you can become the best at what you were meant to be an better than the day before.

                  Until we meet again,

Jodi


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