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Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Better Than I Was The Day Before

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 There was a time when I wouldn't dare paint anything larger than 6x6 or maybe 8x10 at the most. Anything larger, forget it. I was paralyzed by fear, perhaps fear of imperfection or not even imperfection...just total inability to generate anything at all and therefore, failing.

And then slowly I dabbled in a few larger paintings.  With each stroke, I found it freeing to have ROOM to experiment and grow.

It's kinda like moving out of your parents house for the first time without having much money to buy rental or share the space with others. Don't get me wrong,  you are super happy to be there but at the same time, it's constricting.

Painting small can be wonderful and joyful, not always constricting....but...stay with me....

Painting larger can be freeing and help lead you down a  wonderful winding path to growth.
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 I know, I know...some may argue that having so much blank space may have just the opposite effect on one's self.  That huge space can be paralyzing too.

Kinda like a big house.  Where should the couch go? Which room should be the guest room? What color scheme should we pick?   Should we keep the carpet or refinish the old floors?

There are more choices and more decisions to make no doubt.

But, when you embrace them rather than run from them...well, every once in awhile you create a beautiful home, one room at a time.
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 My goal for 2014 is to work on at least 2 big paintings each month. 

ehhhh ummmm COMPLETE at least 2 big paintings a month. I have to keep myself in check otherwise I will find my own loopholes.

I exceeded that goal. I finished 3 large paintings and several smaller ones in January.

Some of them go in different directions that I want to expand on for the next year or so..maybe longer.
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 Others are cousins and siblings to paintings I've done in the past.
Each one, digs a little deeper and that's my ultimate goal:

To simply be better than I was the day before through continuous practice and stretching my wings.
It's not always easy.
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 I spend plenty of time staring at the canvas, not knowing what to do next. What color to use, what to paint, what brush to choose....

Plenty of time allowing distractions to fuel my tendencies to procrastinate.

Plenty of time 'gathering inspiration' rather than just getting to work.
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 But when push comes to shove, I push myself to overcome any fear I have created from within, overcome any doubts and simply enjoy whatever materializes onto the canvas.

I hope you find a way to overcome your own fears, whatever they may be-big or small, so you can become the best at what you were meant to be an better than the day before.

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                  Until we meet again,

Jodi


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8 comments :

Amy Smith said...

I love what you are doing on those big canvases!

Kathy Cawthon said...

It's funny - just looking at your most recent work and not yet having read a word of your post, I thought, "Wow! She just keeps getting better and better every day!" Then I read your post and realized you nailed it!
I always learn something new and useful in my art from you, Jodi. Thank you!

Teresa aka Tess said...

Beautiful...and such a loving and inspirational post.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jodi--this is such a wonderful and inspirational post. I don't know why but it made me feel emotional somehow. I suppose because it made me realize how frozen with the fear of failure I can be and that I'm cheating myself out of the possibility of growing in my own art. Or maybe I'm just a nutcase--haha

Anonymous said...

Very inspiring and uplifting! From one who is afraid TO BEGIN.
But begin I will.
xx
Gabrielle

debi said...

I am new to painting, and new to your work. What an amazing discovery! You are such an inspiration with your beautiful creations. Thank you!

LisaT said...

Jodi,

This post really resonated with me. For the longest time I worked small, the rationale being that if I worked small, I could work anywhere. Long story short, i kept repeating myself. Once I started working larger, the ideas came tumbling out and I was creating fresher, better work.

I just started following your blog a few weeks back, I love your paintings and look forward to hearing more about your creative journeys.

All the best,
LisaT

Creatively yours Fi said...

I'm battling my own way through a big canvas right now...loved your post...Thanks for sharing Jodi :)