Choices.....

 I've been waiting for this moment where I could be truly honest in my sharing what is going on in my world until all the pieces were in place and all the people who needed to know, who deserved to know were in the loop with my plans and I'm finally at that point in the 'plan' to shout it out loud that I am truly going to move forward in my art career by leaving my day job......there I said it, and now I'm going to do it. I've already put my notice in which is actually several weeks off before I go off on my own and start my new career.   I'm scared,  very scared.  But I'm also brave and excited to the point that I'm feeling like doing cartwheels and throwing up all at the same time. hahha...what a visual.  This is soo soooo important to me, I wish I could truly convey to you over this post how important it is for me to do this at this particular moment in my life.

 It hasn't been an easy decision though by any means....for a variety of reasons.  I'm a single parent,  I just bought a house, I have a GREAT job and work with an amazing team whom I LOVE...love love love, but at the same time, the signs have been there for awhile for me to breakaway, at least for now to pursue...no...run after my dreams. Choose your path.....you can choose what roads you go down but it's not easy to decide how to get there, that's for sure. I've spent many sleepless nights wondering if I could truly do this. Am I able to make what is now a part time job (hard to even say job when it's something you are so passionate about) and turn it into a viable business that we not only LIVE on, but THRIVE on?   How do you know?? There is no rule book or play book out there to guide you.  This may be the most INSANE thing I've ever done, or it may be the best thing that I could ever do for not only for myself, but for my family. I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!!!

 Come October 1st, I will be officially on my own and pursing my dreams.  Trusting in my dreams....making it happen all on my own. There is no other income coming into my household....just me.  So I am trusting in God and myself that I will be guided on the right path.  In fact the day that I decided to tell the managers above me of my intentions, a friend stopped by my office to give me a gift.  A friend who is near and dear to my heart but one that I haven't seen in a couple of months. Out of the blue she calls and says she has a gift.....so I step outside of my office and talk with her a bit but I don't open it just yet...too busy, then I have a meeting with my managers...and tell them of what I have planned....then after most of the afternoon passes, I finally have a chance to open the gift having no idea what it could be or why she would be giving it to me.  I reach into the bag and pull out this kitchy sweet tin can bank that says on the front "I'm saving to quit my job".   :)
Is that not irony for you? She had no idea that that day would be the day when I was going to release my wings and fly on my own or at least set the final wheels in motion so I could chase after my dream.
I call it a sign from up above.  This was the right decision. 

I've been planning this for awhile...saving money, working on stock piling necessities, paying down on debt, purchasing things I know we will need and putting my business plan in place and working it so I will have business right out of the gate in October when I begin this new phase.    I 'm looking forward to the new projects I'll be able to take on and hoping I can increase the galleries I show my work at...but most of all, I'm looking forward to waking up every day and know that I'm going to be working on  projects that I have complete control over, it's going to be up to me to make it work. After many years of managing others, it's going so different just simply managing myself.  

I think it took going back home and visiting the place I grew up with and being around so much family, family that I only get to see once a year at best to give me the strength to be brave enough to do this. I felt calmer and more self assured after my trip to NY last week. I came home to relax and reflect and came back  my current home and was finally ready to make this decision and stick to it. 

It's one thing to dream, desire, and wish...it's something entirely different to jump in and do something about those dreams.

In the end, it's about following your heart.

This news may not be exciting to anyone else but me....but I hope you will share in my joy and say a little prayer for me, a prayer that I have what it takes to make it work, not just for the next six months that i have asked for a leave...but for a lifetime.  I want to not just survive....but to thrive.  Who knows what the future holds beyond this door, I do know though that I am going to work harder than I ever have before to be successful and to become an even better artist than I am today.

Mary Mary...How does your garden grow?   It grows even when no one is looking.

There's no turning back now.

 

Failure is not an option.

There's alot more at stake...and fortunately I'll be there to see all that I have been missing while the world has been passing me by so there you go.....it may not be 11 o'clock newsworthy, but it is news that will change my life :)  Enjoy your weekend....and don't forget your prayers. That would mean so much to me...

 

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