Some Things Change, Some Things Stay The Same

"Hometown Friends"
6 x 6 on deep edged stretched canvas

I almost hesitated on posting this little new piece as the colors didn't come out as vibrant in the photos as they are in real life. I did take them outside but perhaps the sun light was not in the best position for me to capture the true essence of this piece. I still have a lot to learn with photo taking. A lot. But I am getting better and I do realize the value of having great photos of your work when you are selling your wares, not to mention, I want to keep my archive of paintings for future uses of prints so I want the prints to look as closely like the originals as possible. Speaking of archives...I need to get my tail busy moving my pictures to cd before this computer blows up from all the abuse I've given her, loading her with picture after picture after picture!!

This weekend has been pretty laid back for me. 4th of July came and went with little fanfare. I opted not to go anywhere this year. Instead we ran errands in the morning, went grocery shopping for some grillin' goodies, came home and relaxed outside with the new Cloth, Paper, Scissors magazine, DS played with the neighbor girls with the slip and slide, the went with his Dad to the fireworks (it seems to have become a routine that his Dad takes him to the fireworks each year....I guess it's a guy thing and the new wife doesn't like me taggin along so I stay home..lol), and then a friend of mine came over for some grillin out and some wine. All in all not a bad 4th, but I do miss the bigger get togethers my family used to have each year and then all of us walking down to the lake for the fireworks show.

After my friend Linda left at about 11, I settled in for bed but was rudely awoken about 1 am by furious knocking and the dog barking. I go to the front door and there's no one....but there is a taxi in my driveway??? huh??? The dog is still barking and so I go to the back door....and yep, it's What's His Face. Drunk. Just came from the "DANCE" Club. I say Dance loosely, or nudely rather. He wants to stay here AND for me to pay for the taxi because he is out of money!!! The taxi won't take him to where he lives because it's too far.
Did you hear me when I say he WANTED ME TO PAY for the taxi after he spent all HIS money at the club????

Oh my goodnesss...well since this is a family show, you don't want to know what came out of my mouth.
Needless to say, the night was not good. Yesterday morning wasn't good either since I had to end up paying for gas to take him home and I was ill from the night before, mad as all get out at the audacity of him to actually think I was going to pay for the f***ing taxi!! No Bleepity bleep bleep bleep Way!!!

The bright side to the story is that he is actually working and can pay to go to the club himself.
He is still begging me to take him back because he has done everything I wanted him to do. Got a job, got his own place, and not doing drugs anymore. That doesn't erase all the pain and suffering I had gone through though. Nights like the one described above is a scaled down night like it used to be alllll the blessed time. Ridiculous.
There is still the looming issue of the drinking that I can't get passed either. Not that I'm a prude and detest everyone that drinks. I enjoy a cocktail from time to time. I can't be around alcoholics though. Too many bad memories from my past relationships and other events in my life with alcoholics in other close people's lives. You never know when that switch is going to be flipped and the happy fun person is turned into a monster from hell.
It doesn't take much for that switch to be flipped.

I do have to say though, the bright side of this whole adventure is the amount of artwork that my experience has inspired me to create. It's that escape that I started with to get away from all the sadness, anxiety, and depression that I have turned into a gateway for my new passion. Not everything I create has come from this experience, but the the idea of painting and creating is rooted in that need to go to another place and escape in my mind.
Now it's become a way of life.
I believe it's time to move. Over 3 rooms in our house as well as just about every storage area and built in cabinet houses my artwork and supplies. I need a bigger place for the rest of us to live, but then again, I like to create out in the open, not in a separate room.
I can only imagine what someone would say if I did start dating again about all of my art supplies in the area that used to be my dining room. LOL I'm not sure they would understand the journey I've taken to get to where I am today and why it is that I do what I do.

Then again, I could always point them to my blog and just say read it.....you may just begin to understand me from my posts and artwork.
There's still a lot yet to discover yet. I'm just not so sure I'm ready yet to open up to anyone else to join this journey with me.
No, I'm prepared to walk alone for a while yet longer.

This last piece feature is called:

"Through the Window of His Eye" which is the 3rd in my Faith Collection. This one depicts the window to which I am looking at as I see myself and the approval I"m looking for, for using the new skills I've been honing. The gifts HE gave me. I'm hoping they are being put to good use in His eyes.

It has helped to save me and my sanity.
(((((UPDATE-I have mounted this now and it is currently available in my Etsy shop. Mounted on a 12 x 12 black and gold masonite board. It looks striking on this 'frame'!))))))
*****

Next post--my FANTaBuLouS swap package from Katie!!!!!! You won't believe all the wonderful goodies she had in store for me!!